NZ TV

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And the X Factor NZ 2013 winner is…

But let’s back it up oi.

I’m just going to talk about the three finalists. Voting was open until after the final three performed their audition songs, they then stopped and counted it up to see who the top two were. Turns out Benny’s voters didn’t vote enough and we saw our beloved hipster off. However I don’t think this is the last we’ll see of Benny. The tweens have a thing for that tortured Matt Smith looking type dude right now, and put that together with a rather nice voice and guitar playing skills? Well we’ll have to wait and see, because to be honest I liked his original song, Christina, a lot better than any of the songs written for the top two.

If Whenua were to win I can see people comparing him to past idol winners that have disappeared off the music scene. If Jackie were to win the country’s racist. There’s no winning for anyone. Just kidding, they both have good voices.

And with that out of the way the winner of X Factor New Zealand 2013 is…

Special Mentions:

- God DAMN Daniel Bedingfield is annoying.

- Anyone else reckon it was rigged since Jackie was brought back into the comp?

- I know you’re going to miss my awesome budget paint edits!

Sorry Whenua.

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X Factor NZ - Grand Final Review

Let’s look back on tonight’s performances, we’re down to Jackie Thomas, Whenua Patuwai and Benny Tipene. They got to sing two songs, again, tonight. One picked by the judges and the other a duet with a well-known NZ artist. The judges went with their contestants to their hometowns, we got to see Greymouth, Christchurch and Palmerston North. Sad, no Auckland finalist.

Anyways, ON to the performances.

Song Chosen by their Judge

Jackie - Emeli Sande’s Next to Me: No one can deny that Jackie’s a looker and as she started singing on a stage made of pianos you could hear how much she wants it. She started the song strong and might have waned a bit towards the end, her vocals a lot stronger now than a few weeks ago. This song’s a lot more upbeat than we’re used to, from Jackie, and I have to ask why hadn’t she sung a more upbeat song ealrlier?

Whenua - Jason Mraz’s I Won’t Give Up: Whenua slayed this song, his is the strongest voice in the competition. However whether being the strongest voice will translate to votes and a win remains to be seen. This was one of his strongest performances, even if half of twitter were draggin it.

Benny - Bat for Lashes’ Laura: It was good, but predictable for Benny.

Duet with an NZ Artist.

Whenua with Hollie Smith - Bathe in the Water: Whenua’s done this song already, however his duet with Hollie was pretty amazing. Their voices rather complimented each other nicely.

Jackie with Adeaze - Getting Stronger: I’m not going to lie, I enjoyed the performance. Their voices blended well, and it was a more upbeat song than her usual.

Benny with Avalanche City - Love Love Love: It managed to sound like something Benny’s sung before while not at the same time. I don’t get it. I have to say I liked it though, but it was probably more due to the fact that I like the song already. Also what was with the Orca? Didn’t the video clip have penguins?

Special Mentions:

- Daniel was wearing solid colours, it was strange for everyone involved.

- They managed to finish at 8:30, well done.

- Someone got to our blogs by searching ‘Does Mel Blatt date Benny Tipene?’ You guys! You know that’s Ruby’s man.

- What does Stan do during the week now and did Mel join him this week after her last act was voted off last week?

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X Factor NZ Semi Finals and Elimination Review

Okay, so the themes set by Simon were Heartbreak & Love and the Best of Rock.

Heartbreak & Love

Jackie Thomas: Her heartbreak song was sort of a ‘run of the mill’ Jackie song. Honestly, it didn’t really standout for me. What did stand out was Stan recalling Jackie’s rendition of Skinny Love from her audition, we get it- she sang Skinny Love really well. Almost rivaling the Birdy’s rendition, almost.

Benny Tipene: Benny’s heartbreak song was an original called Boxes? Either way it was good. I really enjoyed it. I didn’t enjoy the judges comparing him to Ed Sheeran, no comparison, sorry. However Benny’s song was mean, even though Daniel kept singing the chorus back to him when judges were trying to give their comments, like Daniel stfu.

Moorhouse: Sang Bruno Mars’ When I Was Your Man was actually really well done. I was surprised, they stayed in tune for the most part when harmonising which is usually when they sort of go off-key. So that was pleasant.

Whenua Patuwai: I am so gutted I missed watching this episode with everyone on twitter, because Whenua doing Daniel’s If You’re Not The One? I can only imagine what twitter was saying. I thought it was okay, it was a different side to Whenua we haven’t had and although it wasn’t one of his best performances I don’t

The Best of Rock

Moorhouse: I love Kings of Leon’s Use Somebody, unfortunately I don’t think the Moorhouse pulled it off. And they had patchy off-key bits so that was disappointing.

Whenua: Sang Joplin’s Take Another Little Piece of My Heart which honestly appeared to rock the damn house. His voice was strong and he did the song justice, despite (according to San_ being sick. So it honestly just made Mel and Daniel’s critical comments come off as smearing. Also, I didn’t like the backup singers, thought they were unnecessary and even slightly damaging to his performance.

Jackie: Her rendition of Wonderwall was perhaps the most lively performance she’s given, even if it was still a bit boring. It was still enough to get her through to the finals wasn’t it? (Yes, at this point I’ve just watched the elimination episode so know who’s gone home.)

Benny: His rendition of Sweet Child of Mine was lovely, it was brilliant how he started off slowly and let the song build before killin’ it on that guitar solo and then rocking out the rest of the song. Good stuff. He could win the competition, and if he doesn’t it might be better for his career. Seems like the finalists are doing better than some winners.

Elimination!

Benny and Whenua got through leaving Moorhouse and Jackie in the bottom two. After Dom’s longest pause to date we found out that Jackie had more votes than Moorhouse to all the little girls’ chagrins.

Special Mentions:

- Daniel’s ‘in awe’ face is almost as scarring as his ‘rolling around nakkid in a washing machine’ face. Almost.

- Mel reaching for the mic and getting bounced by Dominic. That’s cold. Awkward. Even more awkward? Moorhouse thanked everyone and their dog EXCEPT their mentor, Mel. Sad? Funny? Hilarious? Awkward.

- See you all at the Finals.

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X Factor NZ Elimination - Ciao Cassie (WHAT A TWIST!)

Well WHAT a show! We all got a little bit scarred for a life by Daniel Bedingfield’s washing machine love scene music clip, before he showed us all he could still (?) sing. However I bet he was glad he didn’t have to follow Timomatic’s mean dance skills and thoroughly entertaining abs.

Now to the most important bit, of course. The elimination. Who would we see off? We had a sinking feeling that it would be Whenua after a pretty weak performance last night. We were pretty much resigned to the fact that he would be leaving if he was bottom-two’d and it went to deadlock, he would be out. When Moorhouse, Jackie and Benny were safe I was sure we would be saying goodbye to Whenua. I was praying he would pull out some Buffy The BAMFpire musical Slayage when he sung for survival. However it became apparent that this would not be the case when he came out singing R Kelly’s I Believe I Can Fly, and it was further cemented by the fact that Cassie came out, guns blazing, with a rather emotional rendition of Demi Lovato’s Skyscraper. Perhaps Cassie’s best performance of the season.

I was sure we would be saying goodbye to Whenua, sure of it. Predictably Daniel voted for Whenua to go and Ruby voted for Cassie and then Stan voted for Whenua and when we all thought that Mel would ALSO vote for Whenua to leave, she pulled one over us chose Cassie. The nation (well Twitter Whenua Stans) accepted Whenua’s fate, knowing not to feel hope for the deadlock outcome because we were sure that Cassie’s starbucks buying stans would have voted up a storm for her. Except in a shocking twist it turned out that Whenua had the most votes and Cassie, dear sweet Cassie, was going home.

Special Mentions:

- Seriously though, my eyes are still burning from that 2 second clip of Daniel naked rolling around in what looked like a man-sized washing machine/dishwasher/huge champagne glass strippers dance in.

- Some of the contestants weren’t wearing yesterday’s clothes, WHAT!? Why!?

- I got bored and immature at some point during the show, can you see the result of the immaturity?

- SIMON COWELL SET THE THEMES FOR NEXT WEEK DON’T LET HIM DOWN DAMN IT!

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X Factor NZ - Coke Choice Week Review

Was half-expecting Dominic Bowden to come out sporting a suit made entirely of recycled coke cans. Disappoint. Daniel’s ugly kilt didn’t disappoint anything but my eyes. Contestant’s had to sing a song (out of three) from the year that they were born, chosen by the viewers. The result was meh, to be honest.

Jackie, 1990: Alannah Myles - Black Velvet. It was alright aye, granted it was chosen for her by the people for the people, heh. It was average, for me. Although I can’t say I hated it, if anything I just don’t like this song and it made me dislike it. She sang well, however.

Whenua, 1995: Micheal Jackson - You Are Not Alone. My sister thought Moorhouse were singing backup for Whenua, it was not Moorhouse. Whenua’s performances are usually my favourite. For once I had to agree with Mel’s judgement. It lacked that something that I reckon Whenua normally has, I just hope it doesn’t get him sent home.

Benny, 1990: Tom Petty - Free Fallin’. I don’t know, I was hoping NZ would make him do Sinead O’Connor, Nothing Compares 2 U because it would have made me laugh. However his performance tonight was rather good. It had that original Benny quality to it. It was nice, innit.

Cassie, 1998: Natalie Imbruglia - Torn. I’m going to be honest, I like this song. Don’t judge me, so I was especially iffy about her performance. As per usual she sort of shouted her singing a bit, but she stayed in tune and she looked cool. What was with the kiddie band behind her though? Cassie’s face when Dominic cut her off to ask where the dudes behind her came from, like ‘really, bitch?’

Moorhouse, 1993: All4One - I swear. They had to work out an average age because, duh, they’re a group. So I swear, I was sitting here thinking they better not kill my love for this song. And they didn’t, in fact I liked it. Until it got to the end, I don’t know what happened but the final note it sort of went slightly wrong. Also their reunion with the member of their group that ditched them for rugby, it was a laugh.

Special Mentions:

- Mel wanted the boys behind Cassie to stay behind and audition for the show. As what?! Were they actually playing those instruments?

- The Samsung Insider creeps me out a bit.

- Daniel’s autotune shade to Moorhouse, Mel’s face. It was a good thing there are two other judges between them, because Mel’s claws were ready to rip up Daniel’s kilt.

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X Factor NZ - American Hits [and Misses] Week

Although all you really need to do is click on the #XFactorNZ hashtag on twitter, we’re here to talk about tonight’s X Factor NZ performances.

Moorhouse - Laundry, their story was about their inability to locate the laundry chute. That’s a thing, isn’t it? Song: Usher - OMG. It was enough to probably get them through to the next round.

Jackie - I can’t remember what her story was about. I think maybe this happened when Jackie’s story came on for me.

Song: Britney Spears - Toxic. Started out alright, and thought that maybe the song’s tempo would pick up and become interesting but instead she stayed at the same pace and it bored everyone. Also, her stage looked like the inside of Tom Bachelor’s mind, darkened by his recent elimination, but still buzzy as hell.

Whenua - Boxing. Song: Jay-Z ft Alicia Keys - Empire State of of Mind. Amazing. It seems like Whenua can’t win with Mel, he sings something slow and she thinks he’s boring so he switches it up and Mel thinks he needs to slow it down. C’mon. Whenua’s going to win, we’re not biased he’s just had the most consistently in-tune, good performances of the competition.

Cassie - ‘Reece Mastin touched my arm.’ Song: Taylor Swift - Lovestory. It was a bit boring, a little flat and although I think saving T-Swizzle to pull out at the most opportune moment was a good move- she sang a slightly outdated (yes Taytay songs have expiry dates) Taylor Swift Song.

Gap 5 - Rainbow’s End? Well, guess they needed a pick-me-up. Song: Destiny’s Child Bills. One of them forgot the lyrics, at this point in the competition you’d think remembering the lyrics wouldn’t be an issue anymore. However their performance was formidable and they can stay.

Benny - Benny needs to pull it together, apparently being in the bottom two shook him. Rightly so. Song: Phantom Planet - California (The OC theme). We liked his performance, but I think he’s going home next week. Probably bias because it sort of dredged up old OC feels but let’s just. Ugh. Stop that. Anyway, the judges seem to be pushing him out the way they dogged on every Anna Wilson performance before she was voted off, no?

Special Mentions:

- Dominic Bowden’s hat at the beginning, it bears mentioning that it was a bad move on his part. He already looks like a bellend, no need to top it off with a stetson.

- Did Simon predict who’s going home tomorrow night?