Tag Archives: New Zealand

Guy Williams | Why am I like this?

I’m pretty sure 95% of people who know Guy Williams, have seen him on the telly, or have heard someone mention, “that dick Guy Williams,” has wondered: Why is he like that?

Why is he so awkwardly upfront and so eager to put people in uncomfortable positions? Why is he so keen to offer loud opinions? Why does he like Twitter so much?

So, I headed along to his International Comedy Festival gig ‘Why am I like this?’ at The Basement Theatre to learn why.

Guy has insulted many people in his career as a TV and radio personality in New Zealand, but to see him do it live in a comedy set, is just simply art in motion.

As soon as Guy pranced on stage, killed a couple musical instruments, grabbed an audience member and stole their beer, it was non-stop.

He left no prisoners. There wasn’t a person he didn’t mention without insulting them (well, maybe his mother). It was more than I could’ve hoped for.

The 1 hour set covered a range in topics, from Guy’s love of basketball to Kaikoura sperm whales, and finally focused in on New Zealand’s political climate – as only good comedy gigs do – which is unsurprising as he holds a degree in Political Science from Victoria University.

Throughout the loud and opinionated set, Guy “man-splained” (his word, not mine) and gave us an insight on what it’s like to grow up in a privileged white middle-class upbringing.

Apparently, it was both easy and hilarious.

So, if you’re wondering why the guy that once said, “I’ll do anything for a retweet,” is who he is, or just want an hour of straight-up laughing, then head along to see him in action.

Guy Williams – Why am I like this?

Guy Williams is back with more of his wrong opinions spoken confidently and loudly!

His revolutionary quantity over quality approach is “licensed to thrill”. Boy oh boy this is bound to be one of the shows in the year!

“The most unfunny comedian since Seinfeld” – Ivan Lloyd, Facebook

“Almost as bad as Reece Darbie and Flight of the Concords” – Kiwilad, Stuff.co.nz commenter 


Facebook – Guy Williams

Twitter – @guywilliamsguy


Tickets are selling out – get them here!



















Three Wise Cousins | Review

Film: Three Wise Cousins
Director: Stallone Vaiaoga-Ioasa aka S.Q.S

DVD’s Now Out: Order from MadMan NZ Entertainment!


As Three Wise Cousins opens up in Hastings, Dunedin, and Palmerston North from today I figured I should write a review about the filmNot because I’m Samoan, or because it’s what everyone’s talking about, but because it’s good. Despite only being shown at a handful of cinemas across New Zealand the self-funded, grassroots, comedy has grossed about US$200,000 in the last two weeks.

And it’s about to head over across the ditch to Australia, with a Samoan premiere also set for the end of February.

The film has an engaging storyline, offers plenty of laughs, the characters are memorable, and there’s a universal message behind it that doesn’t just apply to Samoans or Pacific Islanders.

It follows a young New Zealand-born Samoan Adam (Neil Amituanai) as he heads to the motherland in an attempt to impress his crush Mary (Gloria Ofa Blake), who only likes “real” island guys.

In Samoa, Adam’s two cousins Mose and Tavita, played by actors with very little acting experience Vito Vito and Fesui Villiamu, put him through a Samoan boot camp. Under their tutelage Adam is seen trying to climb coconut trees, work the plantation and do all sorts of fe’aus (chores) Mose and Tavita do on a daily basis.

Adam has a bit of a culture shock, in more ways than one, but the lessons learnt don’t just apply to young NZ-born Samoans in the crowd, and should resonate with any young person in the audience.

Sure a couple of jokes will be a bit hit and miss, especially ones that may not have gotten any subtitles, but context will help those who can’t speak a word of Samoan out immensely.

The humour comes not just from a witty script but the way the actors seem to bounce well off of each other. The way certain scenes are juxtaposed and the revelations they bring with it are also hilarious.

However the film is not without touching moments that will, or should, make you appreciative of what you have, and perhaps want to do more for your family. Especially if Adam’s character resonates with you.

The film is cleverly shot, showcasing a beautiful Samoa and a slick-looking Auckland, but a few jump-cuts and panning shots could make you a bit dizzy. You’ve been warned.

Nevertheless this whirlwind of a comedy is set to entertain crowds for years to come. We give it FOUR and a HALF out of FIVE Silent (well, loud) LOLS.

Check out the trailer, but be warned it doesn’t do the film any justice:

Locations you can catch it at below:



Whoniverse: The Doctor [Will Be] In [Australia…no fair!]

WhoniverseNo fair! The Hub Productions will be presenting Matt Smith and Karen Gillan, with a further guest to be announced, on stage for the first time in Australia at Whoniverse: The Doctor Is In. Australia, across the ditch, get EVERYTHING! She screams like a spoilt child. What about New Zealand? Tickets for Whoniverse will be available mid-January from major ticketing outlets for Australia.

The event features the guests live on stage, talking about Doctor Who and their lives as Karen and the Babes (yes I’m really hoping the third guest is Arthur Darvill). There’ll be merchandise and rare collectibles to purchase from dealers, limited autographs and professional photographs available with the Doctor and Amy (depending on the ticket you buy) and all the things we in New Zealand won’t be getting. The travesty.

Matt Smith, Karen Gillan and others will be appearing in the following cities: Sydney – Saturday 1st March; Perth – Sunday 2nd March; Adelaide – Saturday 8th March; Melbourne – Sunday 9th March.


Roast Busters, Rape and the People Who Victim Blame.

I wasn’t going to broach the subject here, because Lord knows I’ve exhausted the topic enough on twitter, however the more tweets I come across of people blatantly slut-shaming and victim-blaming the more I wanted to make a quick post about the nasty vindictive attitudes these people have in regards to rape, rapists and victims.

Now don’t get me wrong, the overwhelming general public reaction, once the story broke, to the Roast Busters has generally been that of outrage. However there continues to be an alarming amount of people (we’re looking at you RadioLive’s Willie Jackson and John Tamihere) choosing to slut-shame and victim-blame the girls, with others even defending the Roast Busters’ actions.

It’s bad enough that the Police handled the situation rather poorly, having made no convictions despite three informal complaints and even a formal complaint made two years ago by a, then, 13-year-old.

It’s bad enough that these girls were raped (because that’s what it was) and then shamed on a social media site.

It’s bad enough that these boys thought that what they were doing was alright and even had other people think the same, painting their abhorrent behavior as that of ‘boys being boys who need to grow up’ or overlooking it altogether.

But to then flip it around and blame the girls for the abuse inflicted upon them? No. It’s not okay to then make statements implying that these girls should have known what they were in for. It is not okay to say that what occurred to them was their own fault for being where they were and acting a certain way as to encourage the perpetrators- completely ignoring the fact that girls as young as 13 were exploited, violated and humiliated.

It’s not okay, it’s deplorable.

Trigger Warning: The following Victim Blaming/Slut Shaming/Rape Apologia will contain stupid to the 10th degree and will make you question your faith in human decency.
I came across people who asserted that the girls shouldn’t have been going out and drinking at 13 anyways, that they were garden tools who cried rape after the fact and that the boys shouldn’t be blamed for their actions.

  • Get drunk? Expect rape. Because, why are you even out of the house?



  • The girls ‘claimed rape’ / ‘played the victim card’ afterwards once they were named and shamed on facebook. Because, garden tools.


Screen Shot 2013-11-08 at 1.23.50 am


  • Is rape hilarious?


  • Roast Busters’ actions weren’t illegal because the girls followed them, the girls ‘put themselves in that situation’. It’s not rape, it was consensual sex between a Roast Buster and an intoxicated and often underage girl. So, these guys are ‘innocent until proven guilty’. If you agree at all with these statements then you, and the people below who do, should have a read of the Laws regarding rape, and consent to sex, in New Zealand. I’ve picked out the pertinent sections for clarification.
128A Allowing sexual activity does not amount to consent in some circumstances
  • “(1) A person does not consent to sexual activity just because he or she does not protest or offer physical resistance to the activity.
  • “(4) A person does not consent to sexual activity if the activity occurs while he or she is so affected by alcohol or some other drug that he or she cannot consent or refuse to consent to the activity.
134 Sexual conduct with young person under 16
  • “(1) Every one who has sexual connection with a young person is liable to imprisonment for a term not exceeding 10 years.

     In this section,—

    • “(a) young person means a person under the age of 16 years


The ignorance doesn’t just perpetuate rape culture, it informs the way these crimes are investigated and more importantly how the victims are treated and viewed both by those around them and by authority figures (looking at you investigating officer who advised a 13-year-old that she shouldn’t have gone out in clothes that basically ‘asked for it’). The thoughts and views of a select few I’ve come across on twitter and facebook indicates why too many rapes go unreported.

What does victim blaming promote, other than the idea that a person is at fault for something someone else does to them? Despite the ignoramus group I’m referring to, the overall sentiments from the public make me slightly optimistic for the future. I’m looking at you, companies who’ve pulled their ads from Willie and JT’s RadioLive show. Because no matter the circumstances, rape is rape and it’s never okay. People shouldn’t be taught ways in which to avoid getting raped, instead everyone should be taught to respect each other as human beings and to not rape. 

– Mata

X Factor NZ – Coke Choice Week Review

Was half-expecting Dominic Bowden to come out sporting a suit made entirely of recycled coke cans. Disappoint. Daniel’s ugly kilt didn’t disappoint anything but my eyes.  Contestant’s had to sing a song (out of three) from the year that they were born, chosen by the viewers. The result was meh, to be honest.

Jackie, 1990: Alannah Myles – Black Velvet. It was alright aye, granted it was chosen for her by the people for the people, heh. It was average, for me. Although I can’t say I hated it, if anything I just don’t like this song and it made me dislike it. She sang well, however.

Whenua, 1995: Micheal Jackson – You Are Not Alone. My sister thought Moorhouse were singing backup for Whenua, it was not Moorhouse. Whenua’s performances are usually my favourite. For once I had to agree with Mel’s judgement. It lacked that something that I reckon Whenua normally has, I just hope it doesn’t get him sent home.

Benny, 1990: Tom Petty – Free Fallin’. I don’t know, I was hoping NZ would make him do Sinead O’Connor, Nothing Compares 2 U because it would have made me laugh. However his performance tonight was rather good. It had that original Benny quality to it. It was nice, innit.

Cassie, 1998: Natalie Imbruglia – Torn. I’m going to be honest, I like this song. Don’t judge me, so I was especially iffy about her performance. As per usual she sort of shouted her singing a bit, but she stayed in tune and she looked cool. What was with the kiddie band behind her though? Cassie’s face when Dominic cut her off to ask where the dudes behind her came from, like ‘really, bitch?’

Moorhouse, 1993: All4One – I swear. They had to work out an average age because, duh, they’re a group. So I swear, I was sitting here thinking they better not kill my love for this song. And they didn’t, in fact I liked it. Until it got to the end, I don’t know what happened but the final note it sort of went slightly wrong. Also their reunion with the member of their group that ditched them for rugby, it was a laugh.

Special Mentions:

– Mel wanted the boys behind Cassie to stay behind and audition for the show. As what?! Were they actually playing those instruments?

– The Samsung Insider creeps me out a bit.

– Daniel’s autotune shade to Moorhouse, Mel’s face. It was a good thing there are two other judges between them, because Mel’s claws were ready to rip up Daniel’s kilt.

X Factor New Zealand: Top 3 JawkwardLOL Auditions of the Night

Did we like it? It was certainly well edited, it looked sleek and very much on, or just about on, par with X Factor UK or USA. The talent? It certainly started off well, and there were some surprise diamonds in the rough, as can be expected. I can’t recall any names, not because people didn’t stand out but because my mind is like a sieve.

Top 3 JawkwardLOL Auditions of the Night

3. The brother and sister who both got rejected one after the other. I know they’re two but the the fact that they got rejected one after the other. The chick felt sorry for her brother like she was sure she was going to get in, and then she too got bounced. Ouch.

2. The swearing guy, surely he was taking the piss? I mean, wow. He looked like a bear and swore like a…like a swear. Yeah, not my best comparison.

1. Mitchell the Chicken Man. Would it have been anyone else? I mean this guy, in his dad’s suit with his dorky face and personality. We were actually rooting for him, sort of hoped he would surprise us all SuBo style and have an amazing voice. This did not happen. After sitting through his story about having 50 chickens and having got a one-way ticket from The US because he loved New Zealand so much, he starts singing and I think I speak for us all when I say we should all pitch in and get him a one-way ticket back. Just kidding, but his voice, it was like listening to a drunk sort of sadness crying out in pain. Are chickens deaf?

Very much looking forward to tomorrow’s episode. Anyone else got any stand out BAD auditions?

Special Mentions:

– Stan getting up to sing with that girl, nice but a little unnecessary? I mean, I’m glad she got through, but Stan outshined her just a little bit. Just a bit.

– Daniel’s face during every audition.

The Twitter Corner, where we click on the #XFactorNZ hashtag and just screenshot random tweets we find funny. The first two are funny because it’s Liz Shaw, for obvious reasons if you’re a New Zealander.

Okay, because if anyone knows something about bad auditions.

New Zealand Legalises Gay Marriage!

We’re so proud of our small country. Tonight, history was made in the Land of the Long White Cloud when Parliament passed a law legalising gay marriage, 77 votes to 44.

The Marriage (Definition of Marriage) Amendment Bill redefines marriage as a union between two people, rather than a man and woman. This, fellow humans, is what equality is all about. The opportunity to commit to whomever you wish whether it’s to someone of the same sex or not, it’s your decision. Don’t get me wrong, marriage itself is an antiquated institution and I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone. However that’s neither here nor there. We’re here to celebrate! Because if a man and a man, or a woman and a woman or a man and a woman love each other enough to want to try this ‘death til us part’ thing out, who are we to stand in their way? Even without a piece of paper, they’ll still love each other and want to be together despite what other people think or say.

If John wants to marry Greg then let John marry the crap out of Greg, and guess what? If they live in New Zealand they totally freakin’ can! The law itself will come into effect within the next few months so… nice spring wedding?
EDIT: And in other EXCITING News the Holidays (Full Recognition of Waitangi Day and ANZAC Day) Amendment Bill passed its third reading by 61 to 60!!!!!! AWWW YEAH HOLIDAYS ON MONDAY IF ANZAC or WAITANGI DAY FALL ON A WEEKEND WE STILL GET MONDAY OFF. MAN I LOVE OUR COUNTRY.