Miranda Series 4 - We Need It

Remember how Miranda hinted towards a fourth series on twitter? Something I never questioned for a second from the moment both Gary and Michael proposed, oh spoiler alert.

Now although Miranda’s busy with other projects at the moment, the last thing I heard was that the show wouldn’t be coming back for at least another year. And in a recent interview Tom Ellis, a.k.a Gary Preston, said this about the show: “I think there’s certainly some more of the story to be told. I can’t say when [another series is] going to happen, but I think it’s not going to go away.”

Of course not ya llama. Miranda can’t ever go away, what a silly thing to say. We need this show, and ending it wouldn’t be ‘what I call’ fair to anyone. Least of all the fans. We need to know whom Miranda chooses, we need to see how life goes on we need SUCH FUN. I do believe I’ve said my piece. Funny word, piece. Mostly because, cake.

- Mata

p.s Replace the word cake with ‘episode’. Also give us some cake, love.

JawkwardLOL’s Compendium of Tillyisms!

Ever wondered what on earth Tilly was saying? Well wonder no more with our comprehensive (not really) Compendium of Tillyisms you’ll be speaking and interpreting like a posho bitch in no time!

Utmost curiosity - Expression of interest

Kissingtons - Fond greeting between friends

Totes Amazeballs - Amazing

Bear with, bear with, bear with. (Repeat as often as needed.) And back. - When you’re on the phone and someone tries to talk to you, raise hand and utter.

Marvolizzimous - Marvelous

Brillo-pads - Brills/Brilliant

Major [insert noun ie mess] and his friend Colonel [insert noun ie catastrophe]! - Expression of dismay and disappointment.

Starvington Station - Hungry as

Flabagastamoomoo - Flabbergasted/Astonished

Totes [insert verb/noun]ulating - On the verge of something.

Rudulent - Rude
Special Ocasiones - Social Occasion
Defo - Definitely
Go on the Pullingtins - Be on the lookout for a hook up/on the prowl.
Possibolos - Possible
Negativitus - Negative
Wedmin - Wedding Administration [courtesy of Valerie, muchas gracias Valerie!]
When in doubt, add the combined suffixes ‘osity’, ‘tins’ or combined ‘ing-tins’ to a word for instant posh sounding effecting-tins.
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***With almost everything in the world this isn’t a perfect list. There are terms and phrases which we have missed, purposefully or not, so drop us a comment if you have one to add because we overlooked it. It would be totes rudulent of us to do so but it defo happens.
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Disclaimer: We do not guarantee the usefulness of this guide, which we shall henceforth not refer to as a guide, nor will we take any responsibility for any words or phrases not used incorrectly by the reader. Disclaimer disclaimer: This disclaimer was convoluted by design. We take no responsibility in your inability to understand the preceding heretofore.

Miranda Series Finale 3×06: A Brief Encounter

You have just been watching...

You have just been watching…

Sister: Wait when does it come back?!?!

Me: Christmas, probably.

Sister: BUT THIS IS JANUARY! YOU HAVE TO CALL UP THE BBC AND TELL THEM TO BRING IT BACK!!!!

The Miranda Series 3 Finale left us on, what I call, the worst cliffhanger ever. What ever shall Miranda do? I’m not surprised we’ve been left in yet another lurch. Probably the worst lurch yet! However I’m getting ahead of myself here. We need to pace ourselves, unwrap this episode slowly with deft fingers. Well, now I feel like I don’t know how to type anymore, doesn’t it feel strange? No? No. It’s gone a bit weird, no really it’s gone weird because I’m focusing too hard on my fingers and their dexterity. Tap tap tap..taptap thrust! Right, on with the review.

We begin a few days after Miranda’s big confession, Gary’s said he just wants to be friends (BOLLOX!!!!!!) after her declaration of love. Miranda is coping in the only way she knows how, plastering Gary’s face on cushions, duvet cacooning herself and singing rather apt songs whilst dancing with a stick man made out of a broom, mop a cushion topped off with a picture of Gary’s face. Miranda’s rendition of On My Own from the musical Les Misérables is not as emotionally tragic as Éponine’s but you do wind up hoping someone would execute a mercy killing. I’m only joking. Miranda should have kept singing after ‘I love him! But when the night is over, he is gone-‘ continuing, as she chucks away the cushion with his face on it, with ‘a pillow’s just a pillowwwww.’ Penny stays over for a bit, although this always proves more stressful than helpful. I do have to agree with Miranda in terms of the elderly talking during shows on TV, ‘why can’t the elderly just watch television?’ My mum does the same thing, only if I were to shove a cushion in my mum’s face, she’d shove the cushion down my throat, along with a jandal.

Miranda’s attempts to feel better also include procuring a litter of kittens as a surrogate family to ‘get over Gary.’ Although note the names.

Oh and don’t forget Sheila. Because Sheila’s important.
Miranda finally decides it’s time to rid herself of her Gary memorabilia which is something that calls for Stevie’s Heather Small impersonation please and thank you. ‘What have you done today to make you feeeeeeel proud?!’
However trying to begin a ‘Gary-free-life’ is the dumps- literally. Well she did say she was going it alone.
Back to Penny, who’s renewing her vows with Miranda’s father. Penny’s developed right alongside Miranda, she’s no longer trying to actively pimp Miranda out. Although her Middle Class Tick doesn’t seem to be getting any better, when she explains her friend’s in the throws of a personal summer as in *mouths* ghastly *shouts* MENOPAUSE. A Penny-Shower at Miranda’s flat is exciting to everyone but Miranda.
Miranda and Stevie have a small tussle over who gets to have Helena, the free spirit designing Penny’s dress for her vow renewals, as a new best friend. Helena tells Miranda that one way (apart from traveling to exotic places) to be a free spirit is to dine alone.
The little spot-light struggle between Penny and Tilly was cute- back to me, no back to me! Tilly O’Clock News! DONG! Tilly’s got a new beau and you’ll never believe who it is! DREAMBOAT CHARLIE! PING PONG CHARLIE? Nope, by the by it’s CUCUMBER CHARLIE NOW. I can’t. Tilly insists it’s not because the dating pool is so tiny, which is funny because Charlie’s not the biggest catch on any level. The start of their new relationship in short goes a little something like:
+ + RUMPEE DUPUMPEE! EEEYOOORE!
We’re skimming, I know you’ve noticed but frankly I’m tired. Don’t judge me. You’re judging and I can feel it- RUDE.
Miranda dines alone as Helena suggests and of course it doesn’t go very well. Highlights? The host yells out ‘TABLE FOR ONE!’ Miranda tries to look like she’s talking to her boyfriend on her mobile which of course rings while she’s pretending to speak to her model boyfriend. Her empowering dinner alone is cut short when Gary walks into the damn restaurant! In her attempt to get out without being detected she ruins a man’s proposal to his girlfriend. ‘You have to laugh about this!’ Miranda says, but the only ones laughing are us.
Miranda decides, after this excursion, that she’s going to sell the flat and go away. Stevie thinks Miranda’s all mouth and no trousers. Miranda winds up at the Hamilton Lodge. And look who it is!
It’s Freddy from Skins (gross sobbing, still not over what they did to Freddy at the end of series 4), I mean Jason the youth from series 1 episode 4, Holiday!
We all remember Jason. Who wouldn’t? Look at that face! I’m glad they bring back these minor characters, remember he was the one who misunderstood Miranda’s request for companionship as a ‘request’ for ‘companionship’ and ordered her an escort… who turned out to be Clive. Good times!
Of course Stevie finds Miranda (to tell her Gary’s been looking for her) and after a surprise snog thinking Stevie to be Jason who she summoned back by ordering an early turn down, Miranda tries to cacoon in her duvet. Stevie, ever the metaphorical prune, dives right in to drag her out. Jason walks in and Stevie informs him Miranda’s ‘just mounting’- don’t say that. They are in a, what I call, compromising position.
Also, they’re cougars. Jason run for your life! We’ll always have room 24! Phwooaaar.

Miranda needs to talk to Gary. We’ve had enough of this running about by now, despite the hilarity and eye-candy. As an audience we’re all just waiting for the situation to be resolved! The conflict itself being an imagined disparity of feelings between Miranda and Gary. True she did profess her love and Gary did tell her he just wanted to be friends. However she’s also declared her love at his restaurant opening, suddenly and abruptly, right after- sort of but not really- breaking up with Micheal. Although Gary’s been a bit iffy with his own *waves hand* issues it’s a little bit acceptable for him to need time to process the (not so) new information. And rather than be mature about it, Miranda runs away and hides away stressing like a constipated meerkat. Granted Gary himself has been a bit of a slippery eel, not a euphemism! The question of will they/won’t is only one part of he show that’s kept us all enthralled and in fits for the past three, extremely short, series.

The only other character taken on as much of an emotional roller coaster as the audience is Stevie who goes with Miranda to the airport to see her off to ‘Morocco.’ This doesn’t actually happen because Miranda’s luggage is treated as a ‘suspicious package’ and the luggage handler who tells her to just ‘let the cat out of the bag’ opens up the luggage and there’s Sheila, a cat, in the bag!

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After a thousand (yes that’s an exaggeration) ‘let the cat out of the bag’ jokes and being tackled by security, Miranda finally winds up back at the Penny-Shower. Stevie helps Miranda figure out her next move which is perhaps more suited to her. A train ride out…to Scotland. The next day Miranda is on the train ready to go. Whilst sitting there with the swelling music in the background, the sombre yet uplifting tone is interrupted by a youth whose music is blasting loudly from his earphones. Miranda cuts the youth’s music short- literally. ‘Darryl! Look look what this woman done!’ Miranda is unaware of the fact that Gary has come to the station to stop her- but he’s too late. Her train is already leaving.

Fortunately this is Miranda and she’s on the wrong train, unfortunately when Gary finds her they’ve got to run from some youths thanks to Miranda. We all know why Gary’s there, we’ve been waiting for this! When they make it back to Miranda’s flat he finally man’s up for his but- not his fine butt but his but, the proverbial ‘but’ that’s held him back from actually being together with Miranda. Through all our squeeing the question still remains, are they finally together? Well, Gary does admit that ‘it’s always been’ Miranda. He’s known her long enough, so really her spiel admitting things that weren’t really secrets like her fruit friends is a little redundant, although the storage place for her remote controls was a new one. However Gary responds ‘no one can match up to you.’ And I’m pretty sure I fist-pumped the air because my OTP are OTP-ing! Don’t.

Kissing or not, for they’ve kissed in the past, (yes, outside of Miranda’s fantasies) this could still go sour. However for these brief moments our OTP is 100% in. Gary must rush back to the restaurant as the reception for the ceremony will be held at Gary’s. When Miranda turns up and suggests they tell everyone Gary freezes. It’s only fair for Miranda to second guess whether or not Gary is all in from his hesitation. As everyone arrives, yes even Cucumber Charlie, we expect a blowout- but instead what we get is a showdown! Stevie asks if Miranda is staying and Miranda responds she doesn’t know. If Gary isn’t all in than I suppose Miranda is out, which doesn’t bode well for us at all. However the show throws one more curve-ball at us when Penny announces that there’s someone who will be delighted to see Miranda and in walks Mike! Ohhh brilly pots!
As much as I love Miranda and Gary, Miracheal holds a special place in my heart. Partly because he’s adorable and partly because I feel like as soon as Miranda and Gary do get together the will they/won’t they dynamic is no longer valid and that element of the show is expelled. However then it’s unfair on Mike whose relationship with Miranda will forever be tainted with the Gary and Miranda will they/won’t they dance. And what about Mike? This man went to Africa and two weeks in decided that he was sure about his feelings for Miranda and is proposing. If you want to get technical Gary is only on bended knee because Mike is.
And so here we are at the end of another series and although Miranda may not be heartbroken she is definitely torn.

Special Mentions:

Miranda’s skill for coming up with an excuse to not attend things hasn’t approved.

Now, talk to us! What did you think of the finale? Did you laugh, did you cry? Who do you think Miranda should choose? I bet you’re all saying Gary. But what about Mike! Well, if you’re anything like Penny it doesn’t even matter as long as she chooses one and gets the hell out of Spinster Hood.
JUST SAY YES!
TO WHO?

IT DOESN’T MATTER!!!!

All that really matters is that Miranda returns for series 4 and we find out what happens!

Hello chums! Oh- sorry, bear with. Bear with.

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This is a brief post for a brief encounter. See what I did there? No? Obtuse. Or intentionally being rude. Rude. Now, a Miranda review for the finale which aired last night IS on the way! We’re just having some technical difficulties, and by technical difficulties I mean I found it difficult to complete the review last night because my eyes had difficulties staying open. Also, mother’s having anger management difficulties. You see technically she isn’t angry at me however I believe the psychoanalytic term for her anger for others being projected onto me is transference. Don’t ask. But one cannot review Miranda when one is under the line of fire from a Samoan woman. My mother’s definitely someone Dream Boat Charlie wouldn’t beat in a fight.

So we will have a review up tonight! I promissiomissimus! In the interim you could perhaps check out our other posts? Otherwise… image

 

Miranda 3×04: Je Regret Nothing.

Miranda’s had the worst five days of her life looking after a sick, thong-wearing, bell-ringing Penny. Yes, it’s as stressful looking/sounding as Miranda makes it out to be in her usual initial talk to the the audience. Penny’s sick and then Miranda’s sick, and realises she has regrets like never having gone to a music festival, among other things and has en existential crisis before feeling better but choosing not to tell anyone because she’s Miranda!

Wee bit threatening.Before the episode even really begins Miranda is at the ‘plotting [Penny’s] death stage’ being left alone with her for five days straight whilst Michael is away, his absence from the episode is explained in one sentence. Something no one’s bothered to do with Clive just yet. We know he’s not there, but Clive couldn’t have just disappeared off the face of Surrey, for the sake of continuity or just to put us fans to rest, give us some gobshite story about where Clive is. Here are some twitter examples.

Where's Clive Twitter Discussion

Back to the episode which I think is a tad reminiscent of Holiday from series one. A sort of bottle-episode take on Holiday. Even the premise seems similar, in that Miranda is faced with the idea of growing old and never having lived her life to the full, leaving behind plenty regrets and not enough memories. In Je Regret Nothing it starts with a grey hair.

Penny Appreciation Corner. Starting off with the gif. ‘Your face’ is a favourite come back of mine, knowing Penny uses it and uses it brilliantly is awesome. Your face is awesome… backfired. She still calls remote controls dubris. The remote control dubris! Don’t forget the homo-phone. Basically anything that falls from this woman’s mouth is either a burn, a hilarity or a mixture of both! ‘I have the right to be demanding, I earned that right the minute I pushed a ten-pound you through my clacker.’
Now Miranda Googles symptoms that she feels to self-diagnose herself and thinks she has some terminal illness. Poor (hot) Doctor Gale whenever he enters the room. Seriously how does anyone normal function when surrounded by Miranda, Stevie and Tilly? *Slap* Stop it! Even Gary! (New OTP?)
Miranda, both the show and the character, is something of a wonder. A show that entertains both the older audience, and -is it still okay to refer to yourself as a youth even though you’re in your twenties? I want to say yes, but I doubt it’s okay. In any case it seems too Mirandian to consider yourself a youth but be afraid of youths at the same time. Miranda is a huge child, but she’s also an old lady. She has a game called snackfishing, exactly what it sounds like, but also has Midsummer Murders DVDs. She acknowledges that she is starting to display Penny-like characteristics mockingly. I don’t think simmering racism is confined to just Miranda’s mum, my mum is pretty racist. They’re racist without even realising it.
Tilly (YAY TILLY’S BACK!) is going to be an ‘X-Factor style pause-ios’ Life Coach! Hush your Kong-face she’s brrilimossios at it. No really she is! She gets each character bang on.
Tilly’s Life Coaching Observations
Penny: Must purge her Pans People regret by auditioning for the Sheperton amateur production of Chicago. Miranda’s negativity is a drain on her dancing. CONTROLLING.
Stevie: Cleanliness issue. NEAT FREAK. Bossy and PUSHY. (Stevie is also amazing this episode. Her singing! ‘It’s like a vocal hug!’)
Gary: Childish commitment-phobe. Searching romance as a detour from reality.
Miranda: Miranda needs to emotionally and physically declutter. She’s a child, trapped in the body of a woman, trapped in the body of a man, trapped in the body of a bigger woman- trapped in the body of a Kong. There’s loads of her in there.
Tilly’s life according to everyone else: SHOULDN’T BE A LIFE-COACH.
Honourable Mentions:
- Do check out our Compendium of Tillyisms for your reading and viewing pleasure. And if you believe something’s missing leave a comment! We’ll add it in and credit your great spotting!
- Plunge my crack. Wait, what?
- Which brings us to…
Yeah I’m not going to acknowledge this. Nope. I can’t.

Excuse me while I nerdgasm at the fact that Miranda incorporated a Doctor Who joke into the script.

Oh and SPICE GIRLS! In fact all the singing in this episode was tops.

Miranda, our JawkwardLOL Queen Kong. 3×01 It was Panning.

There are few TV shows that can combine slapstick, toilet humour, romance without being mushy, drama and witty wordplay into a thirty minute episode so well without being vulgar or lame. Miranda is one of them. It’s amazing that the foundation of the episode can hinge on the gang seeing Miranda at the end of an obesity report on the news when the camera was panning across and she happened to be sitting on a park bench stuffing her face. It gives her mum a reason to get Miranda to Eaters Anonymous where Miranda gets to high five someone she calls ‘manboobs’ and sing a little Bey. To the left, to the left.

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We get to watch Miranda struggle with a corporate environment and it doth not bode well for her. As per usual she winds up half-naked and makes a grand exit.

It’s funny because we are Miranda. The socially awkward woman who hasn’t yet grown into a mature adult despite her age, now that sounds like it could be a jibe but it most certainly is not because- well.. Rude.

It’s Christmas time in Surrey and it seems, since the last Christmas episode things have taken a turn for the less than great. Miranda’s lost the shop and Stevie as it seems, who has now gotten a job as a professional executive and seems to have also taken on a very Tilly persona.

Miranda and Gary are ‘just friends’ now although, as Stevie and the (oh so (un)happy to be single) Tilly point out, they’re always on the ‘brink’ of romance. Cough bear wit, OTP! Bear with.. OTP! Yeah no, because Miranda and Gary are my OTP and if you think otherwise you’re a basic bitch. (Okay, that’s twitter’s fault, someone inserted this phrase into my vocabulary…not a euphemism.)

Just a few mentionables:

Also, was anyone else dying when her pant leg was ripped off by the elevator? Or when Stevie found her thing? She’s not obese it was just paaaannning! Paanning!
Gawd and Patricia Nelson! Miranda it was meeee!

If this first episode is an indication of the rest of the season you can bet your maracas this series will be just as funny as the last two.

Except..WHERE’S CLIVE!!!!