(Delayed) Music Monday: Kylie – Kiss Me Once

Kylie Minogue Kiss Me Once

Kylie
Kiss Me Once
Parlophone / Warner Bros.

Hello everyone, it’s me, Chloe! I know, where have I been all this time? But I am back, albeit with a slightly delayed edition of Music Monday. So without further ado, let us get into it.

I was NOT going to review this album, but to be honest I have a soft spot for Kylie. Pop music is what I grew up on, after all. Britney Spears, N’Sync, Backstreet Boys, FIVE, 911… list goes on. Do you guys remember The Moffatts? I do. I had their poster on my wall and everything.

BUT we are talking about Kylie here. Power pop dance queen Kylie. Do you remember back in the day when she was “Kylie Minogue”? Now she has one name and y’all know which Kylie we’re talking about. Move over Madonna.

Kiss Me Once is Kylie’s twelfth studio album, preceded by 2010’s Aprodite which I also own and yes, danced a lot to, shutupdon’tlookatme.

This is one of those albums with a whole bunch of songs. REALLY CHLOE? Wow. But yes, really. And while you’re listening to it, it’ll seem kinda derivative and pop, like yeah super smooth and catchy tunes Kylez, but y’know, how are you different to any other pop star who uses synths and has Pharrell channelling his Daft Punk influence behind the producers desk?

And then five hours later you’re lying in bed trying to sleep but there’s this tune in your head, like completely foreign, kind of like hearing this solemn yet moving song and not being able to place it and it plays in your head for about twenty seconds before it hits you – it’s the Game of Thrones theme song and you don’t even watch the damn show.

Except it’s the Kylie edition. And you’ll have remembered a lot more lyrics than you thought, too.

The album is about love and also sex, but more the romantic notion of love and the eventual sexytiemz, rather than S-E-X-X sex. It’s just really funky and smooth, upbeat and happy and just really… carefree, which may be a reflection of her new contract with Roc Nation Management.

Also of note re: Roc Nation – it’s Jay-Z’s label, which goes to explain the sort of hip-hop dubstep funk style thing going on with tracks such as “Sexercize.” This unfortunately did not jive with me on the music front but that’s okay.

Other producers on the album are Sia Furler, who executive-produced the album, and Ariel Reichstadt (who produced Haim’s album) for “If Only,” as well as MNEK on “Feels So Good” – and this wide variety of musical smorgasbordism shows across the album’s 11 tracks.

My favourites are “Les Sex” which I did NOT expect to like as much as I do, but it’s so ridic catchy. Close on its heels is “I Was Gonna Cancel” (our Pharrell track) which is one of those songs that you can mindlessly bop to, but take a closer listen to the lyrics:

Just hop out of the bed, go ahead face the day,
Who cares what you know?
Don’t let that in the way – no way!
Shut out all the doubt, just get up and go.
What’s on the other side?
You will never know unless you, go, go, go, girl…

I really do feel like there is a Message here until it gets to a far too repetitive pre-chorus, but you’ll never know unless you go, go, go – damn it.

And a reeeeeally nice song – actually all the songs on the album are nice, apart from “Mr President” ugh let’s just forget that’s on there – is “Beautiful,” which is a true-to-it’s-name ballad duet with the one and only singer of love*, Enrique Iglesias. It is honestly SO BEAUTIFUL albeit a little bit sad and also has sent AutoTune to therapy for being abused so bad. Okay maybe it’s not that great.

Kiss Me Once is a disco hit, although someone has poisoned my mind so every time I think of Kylie I think of gay men dancing to dark and smoky rooms with disco lights and a giant disco ball and overall it’s a really good time, but this may be a disservice to actual gay clubs which I do not frequent enough to speak upon with authority.

Anyway, I really enjoyed it and sometimes it’s good to just get back to your roots, if your roots are a genre-bending fun ride of IDGAF.

THREE-POINT-SEVEN-FIVE out of FIVE silent LOLs

*Singer of love if you are my age. If you are older it may be Elvis Presley, if you are younger I don’t know and I’m a little afraid to find out.

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