Game of Thrones Finale: 3×10 - ‘Mhysa’ Review

We start where we last left off, our heroes slain in the house after the grievous breach of Guest Right by Walder Frey. (Have you figured out a way, bar alcoholism, to make the pain stop? You never will, muahahaha! Kidding.) You know, I actually didn’t think they’d include the bit with Grey Wind’s head and Robb’s body. But they did, and seeing it made me as queasy as reading about it in the book did. Having Arya see it, that was its own special kind of adaptation meanness. This episode was all about the wind down from the Rains of Castamere, checking in with some characters, before setting up for season 4.

Fuck yeah Asha (I mean Yara) Greyjoy!
Fuck yeah Arya Stark! Because after seeing what she saw, knowing what she knows, it would only take a few words from some soldiers to send her over the edge. Bet he was mostly talking shit, that’s what you get though. Talk shit, get daggered. Maisie Williams actually scared me a little here. Not just because she stabbed him, but the way she slowly walked up behind him whilst he spoke. Yes, I’m waiting for the Cat of the Canals.
Then, fuck yeah Ygritte! Which, incidentally belongs in the ‘Stop it, because it hurts’ bucket. You just know that she wasn’t going in for the kill shot, if she’d wanted Jon dead then he’d be dead. However despite his betrayal, she loves him and I think she really just wanted to hurt him as badly as he hurt her. Rose Leslie was amazing here.

Reek, Reek, rhymes with meek. Oh dear, Ramsay’s everything we could hope for in a completely psychotic bastard. Speaking of bastards, Gendry’s set free by the Onion knight after they bond. I’m glad Davos managed to turn his new found reading skill to his advantage, reading the message from the Night’s Watch and giving it to Stannis at the most opportune time.

Giving Shae a proper storyline on the show was a huge mistake, because the next season could prove to be so much more heartbreaking because of it. Also, show Sansa is a lot nicer to Tyrion than book Sansa. Speaking of deviances, we could fill this post with them, I want to quickly touch upon the decision to bring Jaime to King’s Landing. I know they sped up his storyline by quite a bit, but did they have to hurry him home before a certain Wedding? It changes a few things.

Tywin’s one of the characters, when he’s putting Joffrey back into his place, you think is so damn badass and then remember is a prick when you see how he treats his children, especially Tyrion who seems to be the one Lannister with his priorities straight.

However they chose to end the episode on a slightly more uplifting, heh literally, moment. The newly freed slaves’ acceptance of Dany as their Mhysa, Mother. I’ve seen some contention regarding that final scene, with the words ‘white saviour’ being thrown about. I’m here for the dragons, I see them flying about and that’s all it took for me to feel uplifted. Yeah nah, not weighing in the racism debate, I’m too tired and it’s almost 1am here. Ain’t nobody got time fo’ that.

Special Mentions:

- Joffrey looks a bit like an eager puppy. I need a show where Tyrion just makes potshots at Joffrey for a good half hour.

- I can’t be the only person who tittered at this.

And now The Game of Waiting begins. What are you most looking forward to for next season? Lady Stoneheart? Sand Snakes? The Red Viper? Purple Wedding?

Game of Thrones 3×01 - Valar Dohaeris Review

Valar Dohaeris, which of course means a whale’s vagina. I’m kidding, and if you didn’t catch that Anchorman reference then son of a bee sting what’s wrong with you!? Valar Dohaeris means All Men Must Serve in High Valyrian, which I suppose is a running theme for this episode, maybe even the entire show? All men… and women, hell even animals, must serve at some point. Who or what you serve can be your undoing or your survival. However I feel it isn’t just a character’s actions and loyalties at question here but their existence. In the Game of Thrones the idea of who you serve can have an impact on or is impacted by what purpose you serve. All men must also serve a purpose. Why do they even exist? Roslin, for example, it seems they’ve kept her around for more…exposition? Not sexposition- heh. I don’t know, remember when they gave us the drunken knight in season 2? SPOILER: he’s supposed to have a big part in getting Sansa out of King’s Landing in the books, however we’ve yet to see him since. They’ve changed it so that Sansa, from the get go, knows that Lord Baelish (however untrustworthy you the audience may find him) is behind her prison-break.

Dany’s dragons, (bit of a spoiler alert) enjoy that freedom, guys. Astapor and the unsullied. Am I happy with what I saw of the Unsullied? I suppose. Can’t wait for Dany to lose her shit. Already sick of what’s-his-face. WOO SER BARRISTAN!!! I liked how they portrayed the assassination attempt on Dany’s life by those pesky Warlocks. Just because they want the D. D for Dragons.

Margaery Tyrell. Seeing some Tyrell love after today’s episode. Just remember, she’s a hardball player. She knows what she’s doing. Politically, she’s got her head in the game and I like that it’s more overt in the TV series.

Joffrey’s cowardice is such a great feature. I wonder, did Joff turn out the way he did because he came after Cersei killing off Robert’s true heir? I mean, his siblings are a lot more sympathetic.

Speaking of sympathetic characters, my poor Tyrion. Sidenote: I always love a good banter between Cersei and Tyrion because he’s got the wits but she’s got the haughty bitch quips.

Oooh BURRRRN.

Right, Tyrion’s daddy issues, for good reason. Gawd Tywin’s such a douche- which is funny because (spoilers) you’ll find out if they don’t alter what happens to Tywin in the TV series. Speaking of possible outcomes, will Shae’s fate in the book series come to pass? I’ve found her characterisation on the TV show to be much more likeable than in the series so I don’t know how it’ll happen. Especially considering what happens in the book sort of fuels Tyrion to go full on rogue- well along with the events that occur at the Purple Wedding.

Review in the style of the TV show: I don’t like that Jon doesn’t have Ghost with him. Um, is there a reason? I actually can’t remember. Also, where is Mance’s missus and her hot sister? Robb, she’s your mother listen to Jeyne, wait that’s not Jeyne. Davos, you poor sod. Although I for one like that you stepped Melisandre out from the get go rather than tip toe around it. There was no Bran, Arya (and so no Gendry!), Jaime or Brienne this episode but I trust we get to see them in the next.

It was a tad hard to get a handle on this episode due to all the jumping about from character to character, location to location. I can only imagine how non-readers of the series would have felt. At least with the novel you could settle into a character a bit before the point of view changed again. However all in all I liked it, mostly because of the feels. Everyone’s susceptible to the feels and I know it’ll only get worse as the season progresses.

Special Mentions:

- You had one job, Sam Tarly, ONE JOB.
- I couldn’t help myself. The people of facebook are just way too easy!

- Now go watch the second episode’s trailer you crazy kids! HERE

Game of Thrones: Valar Dohaeris - All Men Must Serve

Winter is Coming (literally for us in New Zealand) and Season Three of HBO’s smash hit Game of Thrones is afoot. It would be a travesty not to discuss what we’re most looking forward to this season and speculate on how much more they’re going to deviate from the book series. Especially considering how Season One of the show barely made any deviations compared to Season Two.

Whether you’ve read G R R Martin’s series (how about the end of A Dance With Dragons?!) or have just watched the show, go check out this high-quality interactive info-graphic developed by Direct TV based on the show. Pretty cool stuff. It’s great if you want a quick refresher of what’s happened so far on the show or if you just want to check it out for your own fan(girl/boy)tastic reasons. If you haven’t watched the first two seasons or read the series, SPOILERS. Click the picture below and/or keep reading this post at your own risk, spoilers ahead! The King's Road Map

Alright so what I’m most excited/hoping/dreading to see this season: The Unsullied, the Bear pit scene, growing dragons, more from beyond The Wall (You know nothing, Jon Snow), the Red Wedding (sob), the Reeds (finally!), Queen of Thorns, the Purple Wedding (hurrah!), growing dragons. Did I say growing dragons twice? It’s probably because I really want to see more of Drogon, Rhaegal and Viserion.

I suppose I’ll only choose one to discuss because I can’t keep you too long from your lives, also you need time to comment with your own expectations/hopes for Season Three before you leave the comfort of the internet for the real world today.

Let’s talk the Purple Wedding, that is King Jerkface Joffrey’s wedding to Margaery Tyrell, are they going through with this wedding and what it entails this season? I mean, they’re definitely going through with the Red Wedding so it would make sense for this to also take place. I can’t see them deviating from the books on this one, but then again I didn’t think they would deviate from the books in terms of Dany’s dragons being taken from her! So, what could happen in the place of the Purple Wedding? I don’t know what could happen in its place. The Purple wedding was a hot mess of excess and extravagance with a pinch of uncle-shaming, topped off with some regicide. Oh dear, I’ve said too much! Although I will say one more thing, where the Red Wedding stunned us into blubbering messes the Purple Wedding was a small consolation for broken hearts everywhere. Surely. I mean, in a series where bad things happen to good people it’s nice to know that every now and then bad things also happen to bad, jerkface, canty bastard inbred people. Uhm, yeah, so- OW! AH! I am being eaten by mosquitoes! Okay, if uh, if you haven’t already watched it a hundred times go check out the extended trailer for season three.

So, what are you most looking forward to this season?

A little bit of this perhaps? Maybe some of this?

Oh wait same thing, but still so awesome.

Have a think and drop us a line, maybe you’re just keen on boobs, bow chika wow wow and some violence, either way we’d still like to hear from you!