Am I in Crazy Town?

I hopped off the plane at LAX

With a dream and my cardigan

Welcome to the land of fame excess,

Whoa, am I gonna fit in?

Why, yes I, Jess, have started my first travel blog with an excerpt from Queen Miley’s anthem “Party in the USA.” All hail! I am writing to you from Hollywood. That’s right, my good looks and talent have finally been recognised and I am going to be a star! What do you mean I can’t even get a role as a Hobbit, let alone make it in Hollywood? RUDE!

Fine . . . I am on holiday. With my mother. We are going to a wedding in Vancouver with a few days in LA and San Francisco. Mata who has written every other thing on this website is making me do a travel blog.

Today has been a very very interesting day. Got off at LAX at 2.35 p.m PST (that’s Pacific Standard Time for the newbs) and that is where I got a rude awakening on how people are well . . . rude. First, we all got told off by a guy at the airport who said that he does not have time to deal with us and that we should HURRY, HURRY, HURRY. We saw him 5 minutes later leaning against the wall. Very busy. A guy on the airport shuttle yelled at this tourist that he was being shoved and to mind his manners. Poor tourist guy was just standing in line and apologising. Some crazy lady was yelling on the train to Hollywood and Highland and half the people on the train looked like they would jump me. But I just put my head down and played Miley’s song on repeat after I landed, as many of you tweeted and instructed me to do.

At the train stations, there were sheriffs fully armed with gigantic guns looking at people and doing “random checks”. Scary! Also, people seem to think mum and I are Latina. A lady even asked me for directions for the train, I look at her confused, she looks at me and goes ‘oh . . no Inglés?’ I see so many people looking like me, it is crazy!

Managed to find my way to the hotel after being stared down by this homeless guy on the street who stood up as if he was going to do something but decided against it. Relief! And getting stopped by this nice guy who I thought had a question but was really just wanting a dollar.

Our hotel is a 5 minute walk to the Walk of Fame which was our first stop tonight, together with Hollywood and Highland Mall which houses Dolby Theatre (where Oscars are held) and the TLC Chinese Theatre. This area is CRAZY! I saw a big built man with tattoos counting all these notes and thought he was a mobster, but then I noticed his cape, he was just one of the 5 Batman characters that reside on the Walk of Fame. Also, saw two Michael Jacksom impersonaters, Spiderman, Superman and a plethora of other charaters. Then there are people shouting at you to go on their tours. Everything is one big hot mess but I loved it. Something to experience at least once for sure.

Dinner, first day in USA, was burger and fries and a giant coke. I thought I would eat the national food to start my holiday? Isn’t that just good manners? I have not had to tip anyone today so that was a bonus. Oh, and I also went past McDonalds where this worker (middle aged man) was shouting at the customers and they did nothing. So should I expect everyone to be rude from here on our and just go along with it? First day in and I am thinking twice about saying thanks to people, for what would be just a normal gesture of appreciation in NZ may be taken as me provoking someone in LA. CRAZY!

But you know what? I am loving it. Everything is an adventure. And I did not get killed. So woohoo for me.

I know I should be uploading more photos along with this blog but I am too lazy to get my photos from the camera. Expect more in future posts.



P.S Dear Michael, contary to prior conversation I have not run away to join the adult movie industry. You can now sleep easy at night.


6 thoughts on “Am I in Crazy Town?

  1. Okay good to know I wasn’t hallucinating the rudeness of the country when I was there perhaps 10 years ago. Sad to know that they haven’t moved onto a happier state of being. I think its more of a shock when you come from such friendly, or overly friendly as some would say, places like New Zealand and Australia. I found in San Francisco people just bumped into you in malls and walked past as if nothing happened as oppose to a long “sorry sorry sorry” spiel that happens when the same happens here. Heck it happens in a bustling city like Melbourne so really don’t know what their excuse is. I love how we think that US will be just same old experience like NZ, Australia but its actually a culture shock.

    Onto more important comments, do try out their pizza, Mexican food in DisneyLand and chinese.


    1. I did have some pizza, it was so thin and crispy and mum reckons it was the best Pizza she had in her life.


  2. Bro! ¡Yo quiero Taco Bell!


  3. I will continue to google porn variations of your name on adult websites just to make sure you haven’t been “discovered”


    1. I hate you. No present for Michael!


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