Good evening Prime Underclass, how are we tonight? Did you catch Reign? Shall we discuss what transpired tonight? We saw some characters buckle underneath the pressure, some traumatised by the events that occured and interestingly enough we see a few rise to the occasion. One thing’s for sure, Megan Follows can hold an episode together like no other as she convinces us that Catherine de’ Medici’s probably one of the most complex characters Reign has to offer. Can we also take a minute to acknowledge that this episode was basically ‘what would you do for your children?’
So the King and his troops are away and this leaves Francis, Bash and a few guards behind to watch the castle. This turns out to be the worst idea ever as the castle is sequestered by one Count Vincent of…some place in Italy. At first we think he’s here to say hi, but nope he’s here for VENGEANCE! Also, he’d been colluding with Diane- Sebastian’s mum. Yeah, remember when she mentioned to Bash that ‘bastards being legitimized was all the rage in France’? Bash spends the majority of the episode locked up haha, but there’s a ‘Bash Watch’ mention down below. So Count Vincent’s really here because his son had been taken hostage on French soil and wound up dead. His men are down to fox with the ladies against their will and he’s going to let them. The episode is pretty brutal.
Speaking of brutal- I must say I haven’t discussed Leith (ridiculous name) and Greer in a while. Mostly because this is the most interesting they’ve been, no? You know it’s love when he slits some guy’s throat so that you don’t have to carry the burden of murder on your own.
We go from this murder to Mary and Catherine having to work together to get everyone out of the castle before Count Vincent is to leave with Francis as his hostage. It goes down while Catherine, Mary and Mary’s ladies have to have dinner with Count Vincent and his men. Throughout the evening Mary gets people out through the tunnels with the help of none other than our favourite sack-headed Clarissa- who’s marked a safe passageway out.
Speaking of ‘safe passage’ Olivia, you had one job. Serves her right to be lost in them tunnels, because she couldn’t do one thing and bolted.
Because of this Mary and her pals can’t get out and are almost raped by the Counts’ men- almost. Catherine poisons the gold that the Italians had gotten overexcited about and it kicks in just as things get rowdy… they all die except for the Count who tries a YOLO rape attempt which backfires as Mary stabs him with a fork. Daaaaaamn.
Catherine is intriguing, she’s admits to Mary afterwards that she hadn’t been completely sure that the poison would have kicked in when it did. She reveals, in a rather poignant yet steely moment, that the first lesson she ever learned was to never wait for a man’s rescue.
Mary and Francis get together at the end and, well, bow chika wow wow. We’ll see you next week, where Nostradamus is back to give us some premonitions. Even though he didn’t predict this episode aye.
– Gloriana was mentioned again, granted it was Diane talking smack. How dare she call Elizabeth a bastard. How dare she. Although one shouldn’t compare Good Queen Bess to someone who didn’t even exist. Hehehehe.
– “Give me your heart, then. Carve it out and hand it to me so that we might understand one another. That is diplomacy, to understand my loss, to carry the weight of a dead heart with you every night and day until you find your grave. Roberto. Give me Roberto, and I will let your children live.” Gotta feel bad for him, his son had been murdered- although doesn’t mean he had to get all rapey.
– It’s awkward enough that Olivia has to report her sexual encounters with Francis to his mum, but to also have to admit that she called her Mary?
– And in this week’s ‘Sebastian Watch’: Lordy is he aesthetically pleasing to the eye. He’s sassy too! I don’t care that you didn’t exist, please don’t ever get rid of Torrance Coombs!