Here’s the thing, Reign works so much when it’s a ridiculous borderline fanfic. When the writers indulge our ships and bloodlust you best believe it’s going to be insane, while also managing to be one of the best episodes of the season so far.

It’s so beautiful, mostly because there’s more Bash- Coombs is given leave to showcase more of his talent than broody bastard- in its soapy goodness. Sassy Bash is the best, his excitement about being Regent in Henry’s absence is written all over his face. He’d rather spar with the guard his mum sent him than go play at being King.

But as someone tries to assassinate him (which has Catherine’s name written all over it) it’s clear that people are not keen to have a bastard on the throne. Even if he’s Henry’s favourite son. Speaking of Henry’s son, Francis is noticeably absent this episode. Off enjoying his free time to do as he pleases? Also absent, Nozzy and Clarissa- Clarissa’s probably lying low under Mary’s bed as Nozzy continues to bleed out in the cell where he kept Clarissa.

The guards bring in a heavily pregnant Pagan girl who has strikingly familiar blue eyes, they want to search her place so they can find all the Pagans. Bash and Mary ride out to get her to safety, but not before Mary asks the question people want to know the answer to. Is Isabel his baby mama? It isn’t until that moment you realise Isabel has such strikingly familiar eyes because they resemble Bash’s and you find out that she’s his cousin. When Greer tells Isobel not to worry because they dress Mary on a daily basis, I know that historically it would be true, but on Reign it just comes off as a joke. Like, when do you guys do anything?

Although in this episode they almost make up for episodes of not doing much, especially Lola (Anna Popplewell) who chooses this moment to hop onto my list of characters I don’t want to see die.

It’s understandable that Mary would freak out in the blood woods when she comes across a Pagan decoration hanging up on a tree outside their tent, but dear lord why would you touch it? If she had left it the Pagans wouldn’t have decided to go mental and sacrifice those poor horses. Maybe.

The way she stares at Bash, when he starts chanting to, you know, save their hides which she put in danger, is like Bash had gone outside and slaughtered the horses himself. Mary confronts him about the ‘Heretic’ chanting and he tells her not to be so ignorant. Despite his familial ties to the Pagans, Bash himself is Catholic, the religion of Henry and Mary as well.

Their argument is interrupted by Isabel going into labour, luckily Mary’s there to help deliver the baby because she learned to do so via NunTube- she did say she saw a lot of babies being born. Unfortunately Isabel dies the next morning, but not before marking the baby with a Pagan symbol and making Bash promise to find the baby a good home.

It’s sad that Bash has to pretend to bring Isabel’s body back as a dead fugitive, but at least he gets to bury her as she would have liked. Even Mary comes to pay her respects.

This may be the first time I believed Mary and Bash as a couple, don’t tell my sister or she’ll kill me in my sleep. It’s just hard not to be swept up into the moment- what with Mary cutting herself to honour Isabel’s beliefs- and then them making out with bloodied hands all up in each other’s faces. Hawt.

Honourable Mentions:

- Bash Watch: Sassy Bash is the best Bash.

- Catherine still has the best lines. Mostly when she’s insulting Kenna.

“You’re not smart enough to survive at court.”

“Do you think I care what the king’s former bed thing chooses to gossip?”

“Where are you going? I’m not done abusing you.”