Reign on Prime – 1×12: Royal Blood

Clarissa1x12This episode was all go, wasn’t it? From kidnapping, murder, and suicide fake outs (not necessarily in that order) to marriage proposals and gambling and breaking the rules of feminism (once again, not necessarily in that order).

Clarissa hanging out in Catherine’s room, looking through her mother’s jewellery box and finding locks of her half-brothers’ hair- before her snooping is rudely interrupted by servants looking to do the nasty in the Queen’s rooms. You already know that Clarissa, Peeping Tina Extraordinaire, is poised to do something to make you go ‘what the actual’. She doesn’t disappoint. Que Mary’s furrowed brow as she tells Bash she’s worried about hearing from the Vatican and Bash’s half-bros, Charles and Henry. She thinks it’d be a good idea to take them to the Frost Fair, but some peasants attack the carriage and the words ‘dirty whore’ are thrown about. Rude.

Mary and the princes make it back okay but she and Bash have some disagreements, mostly with how to better take care of the young princes after the attempt on their lives. You can see both their points and also see the cons of both their ideas. Of course neither of them see Clarissa coming, do they?

Although Mary wants to integrate Clarissa into society. She even makes her a creepy phantom of the opera type mask that doesn’t help Clarissa at all. When Mary relays this to Catherine Catherine’s harsh stance on this is heartbreaking. She wants nothing to do with the daughter she gave up. Meanwhile Clarissa sits in the tunnels, where Olivia must be- surely, watching her half-brothers play through the walls. And for some reason I’m reminded of that Supernatural episode ‘Family Remains’.

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Lola comes to a house of abandon in Paris, no less, to pay her brother’s debt and get him out. While there she’s grossed out by the owner, who wants to do the ‘horizontal no pants dance’ with her. To be honest when she walked into the place I thought she was there to find Francis. Funny that, because Francis is there and is masquerading as a wealthy viscount who conveniently, after a fake out loss, wins his wager (I didn’t know the game but everyone clapped so we knew that Francis won) against the owner saving Lola from an unpleasant night ahead. So they get drunk together instead and then get freaky with each other? “We’re a pathetic pair, aren’t we?” Teenagers get with each others significant others and exes all the time, even if it’s against the Bro Code and/or the Rules of Feminism or something.

Bash being adorable and bringing the ‘Frost fair’ to his brothers. But they make the mistake of leaving the kids under Kenna and Greer’s watch and they seemingly go missing. There’s a creepy guy off to the side and everything to pull the best fake kidnapping since Bash was locked up by the Italians who stormed the castle that one time. Bash pulls Mary aside and assures her that the whole thing is a ruse set up to get the boys safely out and on the road, which proves to be the worst idea because Clarissa. Suddenly the princes are kidnapped for real, by their facially disfigured half-sister who’s mentally unstable. Unstable enough to tell the boys to put rocks in their pockets and go for a swim with her while it’s still technically winter. They’re eventually found by Catherine and Mary who’ve had to work together on this one despite the whole ‘you tried to kill me’ issue.

Catherine’s Mary’s main antagonist, but she’s not the ‘bad guy’ she’s a complicated character. She’s in the clear, once Nozza helps her fake a suicide to get out of jail but upon hearing about her sons’ kidnapping she refuses to listen to any reason and with all the stealth of the ninja in the corner of your room watching you without your knowledge she sneaks into Mary’s room because nothing’s more important to her than her sons. Too bad that isn’t extended to Clarissa who’s knocked over the head by Mary as she holds the prince who’s not only her half-brother but was also the only one to play with her at the castle.

I suppose it takes a betrayal to highlight the other betrayals.

Honourable Mentions:

– “Oh good. More sanctimonious talk from my self-appointed redeemer.”

– Greer and Kenna had one job.

– Mary proposed to Bash but then he tells her that’s not how it’s done. Bro, you’re a bastard about to be legitimized- don’t go telling people how things shouldn’t or should be done. Also, them eyes.

– I do believe we have a Wedding to attend next week, but who pray-tell is the groom?

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