After a thoughtful nap I’ve decided it’s time to unleash my feels about the the premiere of Doctor Who series 7 onto the world. If the Pond Life mini series was anything to go by I should have been prepared for some manhandling of my emotions during Asylum of the Daleks. I was not. In fact I walked into this episode with a sort of blind optimism, what with it being the first episode back and all. However it was evident from the very start of the episode that it was going to be a sucker punch to the feels. (That’s ’emotions’ for non-tumblr speaking humans. Humans. *bites fist*)
In other words, the episode hurt me heart. Dear god, me heart. That’s right.
We’re taken to a run down Skaro, where the Doctor is successfully lured and captured by the Daleks with the use of a humanoid dalek puppet. Not many people successfully get a message to the Doctor, but this lady isn’t ‘people’ is she? She’s a dalek puppet. Dalek puppets aren’t in short supply either for we see others also ‘acquire’ the Ponds.
WHO’VE JUST SIGNED DIVORCE PAPERS?!
But they’re The Ponds, they’re Amy and Rory, it’s always been them. Always. And yet Amy’s all ‘I don’t have a husband’ and Rory’s snippy and all ‘sign these papers’ and I’m sitting there wanting to throw my remote at the TV. SO MANY ANDS! Oh my conjunction!
Not only do we start off with the abduction of the Doctor and (soon to be divorced) Ponds by Daleks, we’re then taken to the Parliament of the Daleks where they implore him to save them. Because ‘a darn ship’s ruptured the force field surrounding the planet keeping our crazies captive and you’re the only one who can go down there because we’re scared shitless.’ True story.
Also there’s- WAIT A SECOND THAT’S THE NEW COMPANION!
They told us Christmas. But I should have known.
It was a nice little reveal though.
The Doctor: At long last, it’s Christmas! Here I am!
*Dalek’s begging like little bitches* + TITLE SEQUENCE
And then BAM
Because I was told Christmas. And quite frankly it’s not Chris…wait. IT’S CHRISTMAS! AT LONG LAST!
I’m going to put it out there, I love Oswin. She’s got…spunk.
Which of course means something bad’s going to happen to her. Haha, no, sorry, I mean something bad HAS ALREADY HAPPENED to her. EGGS. EGGS-STIR-MIN-ATE.
A DALEK! IF I DIDN’T LOVE HER BEFORE I LOVE HER NOW. I’M DEAD.
THEN SHE BREAKS THE 4TH WALL- I can’t. I’m out.
If you need me I’ll be dancing away my sorrows.
Except perhaps the Doctor (amidst his self-loathing) as he relishes the Daleks (whose memories of him have all been wiped by Oswin!Dalek ) asking ‘Doctor who?’ DOCTOR WHO? Someone on the show saying the words ‘Doctor’ and ‘who’ together ALWAYS get me. Always.
Next week: Dinosaurs, on a Spaceship! We find out Rory’s a Weasley, Filch gets robots and shit to compensate for being a squib and Lestrade gets asked to help the Doctor but most probably responds with: