Top 5 Jawkward Moments During the London Olympic Opening Ceremony

So if, like us, you live in the Southern Hemisphere and were up SUPER early to catch the London Olympics Opening Ceremony. Well done! As a special treat we here at JawkwardLOL present you with the opportunity to perv some more at the Fijian flag bearer’s oiled body. His name, for those who weren’t paying attention and/or didn’t immediately Google it, is Josateki Naulu. I’m guessing some of us will be following Judo a lot more enthusiastically this year. Like that drummer in the pic, also starstruck by Jo’s pecks.

However without further adieu we present for discussion:

The Top 5 Most Jawkward Moments/Observations from the London Opening Ceremony.

5. The girls wearing the signs with the names of the countries on them also had FACES ON THEIR DRESSES. Did anyone else feel like those girls’ dresses were staring into your soul? Judging you? Just me? I’m not surprised.

[Pictures Omitted due to Creepiness]

4. The look of absolute enthusiasm on the Queen’s face throughout. I mean, nothing seemed to make this woman smile. I don’t even think jumping out of that helicopter seemed to phase her. Except perhaps just before she jumped, when she managed to smile for a candid shot. Aw your Majesty, you’re looking especially fine in this photo.

3. This guy, crouching to get in the shot, look at his sneaky smile.

What’s awkward is that his smile suggests he did more than just crouch down.  And yes, even while being applauded the Queen’s expression borders on bored, if not displeased.

2. What’s more awkward than someone turning up uninvited and uncleared to a VIP event? The girl who gate-crashed the Indian athletes march! I can’t even. I mean, rude. But she did it with such glee, I mean look at her.

That’s a gleeful smile if I ever saw one. She is immensely pleased with herself. This is awkward for so many reasons, how did she get out there? She stands out like a sore thumb. Security’s got some ‘splainin’ to do. Look at the man behind the flag bearer…he looks piiiiisssssed. Also, she looks like she purposely wore colours that clashed with the Indian athletes’ black and yellow. If she was trying to hide in plain sight, she failed.

1. And the Numero Uno most Jawkward moment of the opening ceremony- when that German dignitary looked like he was giving the Nazi salute to the German athletes. He might have just been waving, but you gotta admit it looks a LOT like he’s about to yell out HEIL!

Pay special attention to Camilla in the back with her ‘Oh my gosh, *giggle* is he doing what I think he’s going?’ look on her surprised face and Boris beside her about to piss himself from laughing so hard.

In fact Camilla and Boris seem to both think this guy is absolutely hilarious.

Click for a clip.

And there we have it, hope the rest of the Olympics go without a hitch…gotcha! We’re hoping for as many JawkwardLOL moments we can get. Although I hope they don’t mess with North Korea anymore than they already have. Let’s not tickle the pickle and release the beast. You know, poke the yolk. Aggravate the Nuked up state. Just don’t fuck with North Korea, okay? I don’t want my next post to be sent from within a bunker, or worse- from beyond the grave.

Until next time, let us know of any JawkwardLOLlympic moments as they unfold. Comment! Tweet! Send us a message via Owl if you have to. Just talk to us, otherwise Jess might cry a little…in her pants. Like Boris.

(I also accept notes slipped under my door.)

Happy Hunger Games- I mean JawkwardLOLympics every one!

Guess what! J’s got goodies. And we talk celebrity infatuation.

For you. She’s got goodies for you. (The hordes of no one reading this post.)

I want to say she’s got POSTERS, SIGNED BY FLIGHT OF THE CONCHORD’S BRET AND JERMAINE! But that would be a lie, and apparently telling people lies is frowned upon, even if the ‘peoples’ in question are make believe. Make believe invisible people or not, it’d only be HALF a lie, wouldn’t it? Because Jess does have two Flight of the Conchords posters to give away, but they’re not signed.

Brett and Jermaine! *flail* Yeah nah.
You can go into a draw to win one poster by leaving us a comment or into a draw to win the other poster through our twitter account. Which so happens to be on the right…no, left side. Strong side. Left. Over there. Go clicky click the link over there and tweet us! Jawkward . . . . just realised  it is at the bottom.

Would you like them to be signed? I can find a signature online somewhere and do a print and paste jobbie for you. That is, print off the signature and paste it onto the poster. Yeah nah? That’s cool. I mean, it’s not like I used to do that with school textbooks and look like a total knob with Westlife ‘autographs’ all over my maths book. *cough* I WAS AN AWKWARD BROWN TEENAGER LEAVE ME ALONE!

But it’s cool to be infatuated with famous people, and I’m talking so infatuated with them that if asked to write a biography of one’s self, every other page would be dominated by thoughts of a famous person (or fictional character) one would want to be like or with or have in one’s house on display! (Not weird, not weird at all.) As a kid growing up I never had any posters on my wall, true fact, because if my mum walked in and saw a picture of some hot guy she’d ask ‘Who’s that?’ and before I finished responding with the name I would get a jandal to the face for being ‘cheeky and wanting a poifran.’ So secretly my school books were populated with hunky 90s icons, I’m talking- *senior moment, I actually can’t bring any to mind* all of them.

But what is it about these famous beautiful people that make us commoners drool? Is it the good looks? Because I’ve seen a few ‘ordinary’ people walking around whose pictures I wouldn’t mind having up on my wall. Is it the fame? The money? All of the above? You want in on their sexy world, you want to be seduced by it and not in a Fifty Shades of Grey kind of way, ew. The pull of wanting to be acknowledged by people you admire all day errday is so strong that you find yourself tweetin’ them (the lazy fan’s ‘letter writing’) and trying to get them to ‘tweet you back!’ It’s crazy, Bieber Fever is real, it is HERE and although I may not be afflicted, I can understand the mania. Girls are hyped. He’s here for a few days and the country is a hot mess for it.

But yes, famous people and fictional characters can get the people going. Get the masses stirring…get the kittens purring? More like hissing and distraught crying like a seal being clubbed by another seal. To the point where an observant, more worldly and slightly older, person can sit back and be entertained by an entertainer’s fan base. Bit awkward though innit? The idea that that kid saw more action in one week of his fourteen year old life (the year ‘Baby’ was released) than you did the entire span of your adolescent years. Famous people and their infatuants. Yeah, that’s a word that I just made up, AND WHAT?

*cough*

Now that we’ve arrived to our second edition of JawkwardLOL posts, Jessica has pointed out that I’m not very topical and in all honesty I really have no sense of direction, in writing and in life. When asked what I write I make a weird noise and then list off different forms of writing “Short stories- uh poems. Fiction…novels. Flash fiction…non-fiction, horror uhm-” and I start getting into genres. Before long the people I was talking to just drift away from me like I was a piece of fancily molded shrubbery. Rude.

It’s awkward trying to talk about yourself when you don’t even know what you’re doing,

“Yeah, I write.”

What? What do you write?

“Stuff.”

What…stuff?

“Words?”

Ah, fuck this.

“Wait! I write…stuff with words- yeah fuck it. I write porn.” (I don’t, by the way.)

Remember, you stay classy.

Which of course means- when you smile toothily at the opposite sex this week make sure there’s no liquid in your mouth.

Jawkward Introductions

Hi. Hello. Namaste. Talofa.

Saying hello to strangers is always awkward. No one can convince us otherwise. When you’re a stranger saying ‘hey’ to another stranger there will always be sudden silences, next to nil eye contact, and weird noises that escape your mouth. You don’t know how but you spend half your time trying to turn strange noises into sighs, hmms and/or ahhs. Physically, you extend your arm out for a handshake, miss the person’s hand by a mile and ‘turn it into a dance,’ which is in no way acceptable. Not that any of us have done it before. *shifty eyes*

However here we are, blog world, another blog of somewhat socially inept people attempting to connect with other socially inept people by way of nerding out over television shows, literary and fictional characters and film obsessions. It’s socially acceptable to talk about fictional characters as if they’re as real as you and I. Almost as acceptable as making a racist joke about your Indian friend. JawkwardLOL is our baby. There’s a little bit of Jessica K, Laumata L and bits and pieces of our friends. This baby will look like Frankenstein’s monster, only more awkward and less scary. Jawkward.

We have Jess. Our technical, technology, financial director, the boring-things expert.

She’s an Accountant.

Tech/financial/numbers expert

Me. Mata. The one doing the writing and other things, like procrastinating.

I’m a professional procrastinator.

Those creative types.

So that’s the team. We’re all but qualified to bring you a bunch of JawkwardLOL content.

Jess is a certified tech nerd.

And I’m a certified creative genius.

We’re also very opinionated when it comes to television. Sure our opinions will more or less be comprised of fangirling tendencies, read as: rage, but every now and then our awkward ramblings will yield mature (ha!) thought out (double ha!) discussions. Would you drop us a beat, a comment, a word if you managed to read through this? I promise not to send you an envelope with a request for some of your hair if you do. Because that would be weird. And I wouldn’t want, you to… feel obliged to send a lock of your hair if you didn’t want to. *whistling* If you could put Awkward in a bottle and sell it, we could tell you that in that bottle would be extracts of our DNA, strands of our hair and some of our tears. I’m joking, but not really… awkwardlol. Would you believe me if I said I laughed out loud? Because I could have. I usually laugh out loud at things I read, like when I read that the jury found Ewen Macdonald ‘not guilty’ of Scott Guy’s murder, or when I watched a video of a cat pooping on a bird. The lady next to me on the train didn’t find my laughter contagious, but that’s neither here nor there. Or perhaps she was annoyed by the fact that I played the video of the cat pooping on the bird out loud. Jeez, it’s not like the cat was pooping on her.

Jawk ya later.

The LOL is silent.

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