JawkwardLOL Confessions: Nigel No Mates

We interrupt your usual broadcast to bring a Jawkward confession from a friend of ours who felt the sting of a misread social cue today. One simple misunderstanding can lead to an awkward moment scarring you for the rest of your life. This isn’t one of those moments. Nevertheless we present to you Nigel’s jawkward moment of the day.

I’m in my office with the door open and see, out of the corner of my eye, a partner walking towards me.
The partner stops outside my office which is on a corner so there are two other office doors also before him.
He mumbles something like hi so I reply…
He wasn’t talking to me.

It’s moments like these you need minties. At this point in the film of Nigel’s life two kiwi men, a tall dopey one with glasses and a smaller gimpy one with a goatee, would step out from behind the partner with a guitar and start singing.

‘I got hurt feelings, I got hurt feelings. The partner didn’t even see me waving. I got hurt feelings, I got hurt feelings. Didn’t he know his attention I was craving?’

Nigel, we’re sorry you have no mates, and that you can’t tell when people are talking to you or when they’re talking to those around you. If it makes you feel any better the other day I waved at someone and they waved back, oh wait. Sorry, let me try that again. Jess said hi to her boss and he complimented her on her work ethic. Wrong again. Nigel, we know that sometimes the world gets you down, just get back up when it knocks you down. We’re not one for encouragements, but I can tell you the story about how my mum used to curl my brother’s hair and pretend he was a girl before I was born. That’s the entire story. The entire, uncalled for, story. Feel better Nigel. Do you like the fact that we’ve given you name suppression? Because obviously your name isn’t Nigel.

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