Jess: I bought a ukulele yesterday. Dunno why. It just felt right until last night when I was like WHAT DID I JUST DO?
Me: Can you play the ukulele?
Jess: NO, I think you know I have absolutely no musical talent. I don’t even know why I did it. Now I need to learn to at least strum otherwise I am the biggest failure in my life.
Me: Where did you even buy a ukulele? Online or was it a physical impulse buy?
Jess: I was bored so I went to TradeMe to look at auctions. I clicked on $1 reserves and saw some ukuleles. I thought, wouldn’t it be cool to have a ukulele, maybe I can learn to play it! So I went and looked at websites on how to learn ukulele and I was like whoa when one website said it was the easiest instrument to learn. Then, I was like if kids can learn it, I can. I didn’t want a cheap one from trademe cos’ I read that some can’t hold a tune. So I googled, found one and put it in my cart. Then I was like should I? So I watched some Youtube videos of ukulele and there was of this obese Islander guy but his voice/playing was beautiful so I was like YEAH. So I bought it, went to bed and forgot about it. Until last night around 10 or so and I was like WTF.
Impulse buying! What do you buy on impulse? Odd packet of chips? An RC toy car? A human liver on the black market? Admit it, we’re all guilty of impulse buying, I know I’m guilty of impulse buying.
And yet someone, down the back there, is whispering (very loudly might I add) ‘buy on impulse? What does that even mean?’
Well if you’ve been living under a rock (or prison) for most of your life, impulse buying is… um when the urge to purchase- blackout and buy. You see and- BAM! WANT! I mean, TAKE MY MONEY WHAT… HAVE I DONE?! That’s what it- yeah nah ugh, I suppose I have to show you.
Okay, so close your eyes and imagine this: You’re walking through a store, either browsing for the hell of it or searching with a sense of purpose, and something catches your eye. You stare at this thing (whatever it is is irrelevant, like Chris Brown and Rihanna’s relationship) and this thing whispers ‘you want me.’ Before you even know it you’re however-much-it-costs lighter and you’re on your way home to enjoy your new scuba suit. You may have never even seen the ocean before in your entire life, but you’ve purchased this damn suit and you love it. You’re in a post-purchase haze, you might not even know what you’ve purchased. That, my friends, is essentially what impulse buying is. We’ve all experienced it and sadly succumbed (sometimes without even realising) to it. To be fair, however, I’m sure usually not as crazy as buying something related to an activity you’ve never done before in your life. What always remains the same, however, are your thoughts of ‘I really did not need that’ or questions such as ‘why did I get this?’ I’m no behavioural psychologist or even someone who studies consumer trends and habits, but I know impulse buying. I’ve lived it. I’m like the characters in Star Wars who don’t need to see the movie because they’ve lived them. You will buy something ridiculous on impulse, sometimes you’ll do it blindly or, like Jess, you’ll rationalise it every step of the way until the deed is done and you lay down to sleep but your eyes pop open and into the darkness you whisper, “Why did I buy that?” You are amongst the [insert completely researched statistic] amount of people to buy a product, or jet plane, impulsively and later wonder ‘what on earth am I going to do with a 150 year old eye of newt?’ It’s insane the kinds of things you can buy nowadays especially thanks to the Internet.
Just ask Jess.
I say you guys comment with a song you want Jess to learn on the ukulele and she will learn it, just for you. We will record it and everything! (More promises I may not be able to keep. Aw yeah, that’s how we do it, politician style.)